Of Stupidity and Imagined Consequences
by MRACR
Summary: Two of the flock are down for the count and Max blames herself. In a burst of self sacrifice, she leaves the flock. For good. Can she live without her flock? Can they live without her? Will they ever be together again? [[oneshot]] [[faxness]]


**_Well, people, it's finally time for another MRACR fanfic! Yay! And, uh, for all my readers...uh...of _course_ I'm still working on my other fics! Yeah, of course I am! ... Anyway, here's a loverly little fic about Max leaving the flock. And, drumroll please, total OOCness:):) I admit it and who cares? It can be that way if I want it. I started it completely randomly about two months ago and got about half a page's worth (in Word doc) then forgot about it for two months. Yesterday I started it up again and had NO CLUE where I was going with it. So I just made stuff up. And haven't had a chance to edit it. Not the best ever, but I think it turned out ok. So enjoy! And review!!_**

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**Of Stupidity and Imagined Consequences**

_Has everything we've done, everything we've accomplished…has it all been…been for nothing? It's all because of me. If I'd just gone my own way before this, it never would have happened. I'm the cause for all of this. They'll never hate me for it, but I will. I'll never forgive myself. They don't deserve to have me around, a miserable failure._

Thoughts, similar thoughts, swirling through my head. Everything else groggy and dim, those thoughts burning, searing through my mind. All because of me. All because of Fang.

I'd occasionally thought of just leaving the flock until I'd finished saving the world—but then Fang kissed me. And then we split up. And then we were back together. Then we saved the world.

Fang kissed me again, and that seemed to be that. Everything, sorted out. Fang and I were together. We were starting a normal life with my real mom. Everything was going just fine. Then, well, _now_ happened.

Now, at the moment, I was silently giving off some kind of signal that kept Fang from comforting me.

None of the flock were dead. I'd have killed myself by now if I'd done that to them. But we were sitting in the waiting room at the hospital, waiting to see them. They nearly hadn't made it.

I was only hanging around to see them—Nudge and Iggy—and then I was leaving. Hadn't told anyone, wasn't going to. They'd care, they'd try to stop me. I couldn't have that. I needed to leave them in peace.

I couldn't believe myself. After all this time I still hadn't learned. It all happened so quickly, and as I sat there in the cold, plastic chairs it just replayed in my mind over and over.

Fang and I, in a tree, making out.

Iggy, Gazzy, and Nudge testing out their recent explosives.

Angel and Total watching TV.

Mom at work and Ella at school.

Iggy and Gazzy abandoned Nudge to set off a secret bomb. They told me they were going to the treehouse. I didn't even blink an eye.

Nudge asked me and Fang if we wanted to go with her—she was going to the treehouse to play. Neither of us thought anything out of the ordinary, sitting peacefully as we were.

Everything would have been relatively fine if it hadn't been for the Erasers.

Two of them came out of nowhere. Somehow they were left over. They'd tracked us down. They'd tracked _me_ down.

They went after Nudge first. She screamed. I heard her. But I was too busy kissing Fang again and merely dismissed it. She screamed all the time, right? Fang probably didn't even hear it.

Iggy did, though, and so did Gazzy. They rushed into the fight. The bomb was about to blow right under them.

After a few seconds, I finally came to the belated realization that something was wrong. By the time Fang and I got there the Erasers were in the air, holding an unconscious Nudge. They knew the bomb was about to go off—we all did.

They let her go, right on top of it, just above the treehouse.

I knew they were going to drop her—I anticipated it, but just didn't act. My reflexes were slowed from inactivity, not ready for even a simple emergency that my ignorance of danger caused.

Nudge fell, and Iggy rushed after her. I was closer; I could have saved them both.

Iggy flew faster and caught Nudge just as the bomb exploded.

I went into rage mode, hunted the two Erasers down and beat them both in record time, barely thinking.

And then I went into freeze mode. It was up to Fang to call everything in order. And then he wasn't even mad at me. Possibly not even mad at himself. To them, it was just an accident. To me, it was one more injury—one of the most major we'd ever had—brought about by me and my "destiny."

So now I had to leave, to make sure there weren't any more enemies left, that the world truly was saved. And I had to do it apart from my flock. They were healing, now, and just getting back to normal.

If everything went well, I'd see them again. If it didn't, at least I wouldn't take them down with me.

And Fang—if it hadn't been for him, if it hadn't been for us kissing I might not have been so lax, so relaxed, so unprepared. I started to feel too normal. We hadn't even flown into the tree—just climbed. Like normal teenagers.

If he waited for me to return, I'd probably be the happiest girl alive. If not, well, I could understand. I might not make it back, anyway, so it would be best for him to move on.

"Miss Ride? You and the rest of your family can come, now," a kindly nurse said.

Gazzy and Angel raced into the double room, holding hands. Total wasn't allowed, so he'd stayed home with Mom and Ella.

I followed the two kids, drawing back into myself and away from Fang. He shot me a quizzical and concerned look, but I ignored him, darting into the room after my family.

"Hey," Iggy croaked.

_Oh God,_ I thought, looking at him. Covered in rapidly healing burns, he was not a pretty sight. He had to be in pain, fast healers though we all were.

Nudge was unconscious again, but she'd obviously been awake at some point for she'd made it all the way from her bed to curl up shivering against Iggy.

"Yeah, we did," Angel piped up out of nowhere. "Max went after them and got 'em good."

Iggy smirked but stopped when it caused him apparent pain. "You didn't even wait for me to ask the question. But I'm glad you got 'em."

"Yeah," Gazzy said. "So when can you get out of bed?"

"The doctors say this sort of burn takes a long time to heal, so I figure a couple days at most."

"Sounds about right," Fang said.

"I'm just glad you're ok," I managed, not able to choke out the apology I knew was needed.

"Hah, yeah, like one of my own bombs can get the best of me." He was going to be alright, I realized. They all were. Back to normal. The real normal they'd found.

But of course I kept my immediate thoughts on other things. Fang was as good at reading my face as Angel was my mind.

"I'll be right back," I said about a minute later, interrupting Gazzy and Iggy. Fang looked up from the corner he'd been standing in. "Bathroom."

Everything was going as planned. I got to the bathroom, which had a convenient window out the back of the building. After waiting a few minutes for the other occupant of the restroom to leave, I opened the window and slipped out.

"Going somewhere?"

I sighed. "Yes, actually, I am. What's it to you?" I said, turning around to face a glowering Fang.

"Why?" he asked.

"I should have left long before something like this happened," I started.

"If you think this is your fault—"

"I know it is, Fang!" I snapped, not happy at being interrupted. Toning down my voice to avoid attracting attention to our small nook in the alley, I continued. "If there are still Erasers out there, who's to say there isn't another factor I have to save the world from? I'm the one who has to do it and I should have left already. It's all too normal. I never can be; If I'd been on top of my game then this whole situation would be a non-issue. Or if I wasn't here. You can't stop me, Fang; I won't let you."

I used my I'm-the-leader-and-what-I-say-goes-without-question voice, but that never seemed to work on Fang.

"Whatever we do, we do together. Stick together. If _any_ of us leaves, we'll be worse off than ever. You made up the stick-together rule. You made me promise never to leave you."

"You're not leaving me. _I'm_ leaving. You're staying here to take care of the flock."

"Max," Fang said, stepping closer to me, "why are you being so stupid? We fight together. If you want to leave, we all leave."

"No, Fang, we don't." I was getting mad. What was with him? "I'll be back, just like I told the others. It might be a week; it might be two years, who can say? Just let them know I love them, and that's why I'm doing this."

"No—" Fang started, but I stopped him by leaning in and closing the distance between our lips. That effectively stopped him.

Pulling back, I crashed my hand to the back of his head before he even opened his eyes again, catching him as he fell unconscious, his reflexes a hair too slow. I leaned him against a crate in the alley.

"Bye, Fang," I said, then turned and sprang into the air, unfurling my wings and pushing hard for lift. I was on my way, for better or for worse. Hopefully better.

A simple departure for a complex problem.

VV

VVV

VV

Fang told the flock nothing of what happened. All he would tell them was that Max left on a mission and would be back soon. And that they weren't allowed to follow her—it was something she had to do on her own, clear her mind. He didn't let Angel find out the truth from him, and wouldn't even tell Iggy or Max's mother. He did assure them that Max would be back. And soon.

Fang gave her one month. One month to figure out that she needed the flock as much as they needed her. One month to come back. When she didn't, he knew it was up to him.

"I'm not Max, and this isn't some insane mission," he told Iggy. "I'm bringing our leader back and yes, I'm probably the only one who can do it."

"Ok, I get it," Iggy finally conceded. "We'll be alright until you guys get back."

"Then you're in charge of the flock. It won't be for long."

"Ok, see ya. I've got to go find Ella, wherever she went when you barged in."

Fang just rolled his eyes, but as he took off, all he could think about was Max. He couldn't stand to be around Iggy and Ella recently, with all the kissing going on. If anything had happened to Max…

VV

VVV

VV

Meanwhile, I was alone, freaked out from lack of flock, not even trying to pretend to myself that I was ok. I'd searched nearly all the places we'd already conquered and nothing, not even any more signs of Eraser.

Maybe those really _were_ the last ones. Still, I couldn't take that chance. It's what we'd thought before, and just look at what'd happened.

Iggy and Nudge were probably healed by now and back to normal activities like blowing stuff up. And kissing, for Iggy and Ella at least. An image of Fang sprang to mind, how I left him so many weeks ago, unconscious.

As mad as we all got at each other at times, especially me and Fang, we'd never actually attacked each other. Fought, yes. _Attacked_, no. And never fiercely enough to put the other out cold.

I didn't really have to worry about his reaction, though. I was huddled up in the dark of midnight in a cave high on a cliff, somewhere within a state of our old home. It was raining, which totally figured.

I had no fire, no food, but that didn't matter. I'd find some tomorrow.

I'd been here awhile. Mostly I was waiting for whatever enemies might be left to track me down and probably kill me. At least then they wouldn't be looking for me anymore and my flock would be safe for good.

At the moment, that was all I could care about. The world? It could take care of itself; someone else could save it. My duty was to my flock, my family.

I heard a rustle at the cave entrance, some gravelly footsteps. I didn't bother looking, since it was too dark to see anyway.

It had to be some enemy or another of mine; who else could and would have gotten up here?

The light footsteps continued toward me and I closed my eyes tight, drawing in on myself, almost hoping whoever-it-was would kill me soon.

The last thing I remember, the footsteps broke into a run and everything went black.

VV

VVV

VV

Fang had a feeling he knew where he'd find Max. She'd probably looked everywhere they'd known the enemy to be, ending with their old house. When that failed, she'd wait. And caves were always a favorite spot for something like that. He knew just where to start.

_Unless Max is dead by now, _the unwelcome thought intruded on his confidence.

No, she couldn't be. He'd know it if she was. Still, his stomach clenched and he sped up considerably.

It was the fourth cave he checked. As he landed softly in the entrance, shaking rainwater off his wings, Fang peered in through the darkness. A huddled _something_ was in one corner. He stepped cautiously closer and in a second recognized Max, tan streaked wings covering her for warmth.

Fang broke into a run. "Max!" he called, as she gasped softly and collapsed to the side. Was he too late?

VV

VVV

VV

"Max," a voice intruded on my peaceful unconsciousness. "Max." Apparently I wasn't dead.

"What?" I asked automatically in a monotone.

"Oh God, Max, you're alive." The voice was relieved.

"Why didn't you kill me?" I wondered aloud hoarsely, still pretty much out of it. But before an answer came, I realized who the voice was. "Fang?"

My eyes snapped open and through the darkness I saw the very welcome sight of Fang's face just over mine. The look on it told me he'd thought I was dead.

"Yeah, Max, it's me. I'm here," Fang said soothingly.

"Fang, you're here, you came, but…" I said, trying to sit up.

He pushed me back down onto his lap but I ignored his hands and sprang up with any energy I could muster, not quite overbalancing as I wrapped my arms around Fang's neck and buried my face in his chest.

His arms came around me as we held onto each other for dear life. After several minutes, Fang pulled back and grabbed my shoulders.

"You're coming back with me. Any arguments?" he said firmly.

I looked at him, saw his eyes rimmed with red, and felt tears pouring down my own face.

"No," I whispered, shaking my head.

He smiled slightly and suddenly crushed his mouth to mine.

Oh God I'd missed this so much. My hands tangled in his hair as I got lost in our kiss. When we finally stopped to breathe, Fang stood up and dragged me with him.

"Now?" I asked.

"Yeah, come on," he said. "The flock's waiting."

I smiled. "Let's go home."


End file.
